I know, I'll be okay, soon.

  Perhaps, you were right. We shouldn't begin. It was a mistake.

  If I'm given another chance, I would still allow you to enter my life. Yet, this time I would be gentle & caring. I wouldn't swallow all my feelings, I would let you know that it breaks my heart to see you being so tired & shagged. I wouldn't be pushy, I would keep quiet & let it be.

  An Aquarius would choose freedom over love. Boy, why can't you understand that I'm not gonna tie you down. I'm not interested to be your girlfriend. I don't need any promises from you. Whenever you need someone, I would be here for you; just a call or text.

  I kept track on the dates that we meet, our activities & what did we eat.

  I remember, we went to the snack shop at Taman Jurong that I used to go when I was young. I miss the fake strawberry ice cream. I hate strawberry flavour but this is yummy. The lady boss told us that the factory collapsed. You told me that you don't believe her, the auntie doesn't wanna give her competitors to earn! AHAHAHA! It's possible but boy you're so cute so funny!

  Everyday, I'll wake up with swollen eyes. I'm afraid to see my phone because I know I wouldn't see your name appearing.

  Whenever I think of you, my eyes would be brimming with tears even when I'm walking, in train or in bus. At home, when I'm alone, I would just break down. I can't hold back those tears, I don't have the strength to pretend to be strong anymore.

  I've to let you go, because you won't stay.

  My biggest weakness is I'm always not firm in whatever I do. You said, you rather I'm the one who choose to leave first even if it'll hurt you. I tried to avoid you but I always failed. I rejected to meet up with you a couple of times but I wasn't persistent. When I tried to push you away, you came closer; you're so irresistible.

  How I wish I could be as firm as you.

  When I broke up with my ex, I immediately deleted his messages, number, facebook & threw away everything that was from him.

 However, I'm not strong enough to delete your messages, number & facebook is where I could see whether are you doing fine. I still bring the portable charger you paid for me everywhere I go. I would hug it to sleep. I still keep the Strepsils that you crossed the road to buy for me, it's still inside my bag. I kept the cough syrup that you dragged me to buy, in a pink box. Sadly, I can't find the herbal tea plastic bottle that you dragged me to buy. Also, our movie tickets are with you. I should have taken it. Well you may have thrown it away.

  Perhaps, your feelings faded.
  Perhaps, you realised that I'm not the right girl you want.

  I wonder, if you family, cousin & friends ask about me, what would you say? What would come to your mind?

  That night, although I wasn't completely sober, I remember you saying, you realised that we shouldn't begin so you wanna stop. That moment, I almost cry. I didn't. I chose to smile. Boy, could you see it? I'm stronger than you think.

  I would still reply your text & call because I want you to think that I'm doing fine. Yet, the fact is, you wouldn't be contacting me anymore.

  Right now, I'm in a shopping mall, alone, I don't know what's the shopping mall name. I wanted to chill at Starbucks but I only left a few cents. My bank has $0. I'm broke & lost now. Yet, this moment, I'm feeling calm, this moment, my heart is calm & I'm smiling.

  Just now, I was slightly lost at City Link but I was able to find my way because you'd taught me how to walk, on the phone, few days back.

  Just now, when I was lost, I didn't text or call you. I'm learning to be independent once again. I'm trying my best to go back to the life before you came.

  I know, I would get over you someday.